Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Back...from the dead...

"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick

I feel like rolling a number and hitting the road for a good long while. I need to get away and start new, get as far away as possible from things that remind me of... well, everything leading up to this point in my life.

In a way, I'm torn. Half the time I believe that all of my friends, all these people I've shared my life with are an absolute necessity for my survival. Without them, without you, perhaps I really am nothing but a shell of a person.

On the other hand, perhaps the input of others is holding me back. I'd like to believe that I lead my life based on what I feel, what I need. Anything else- maybe it's just baggage. Maybe the key to a good life, or to finding what's missing to make a good life, is just good music and awkward, novel situations.

Maybe... or maybe the copious drug use, family issues, and other stressors on my mental health have finally caught up with me, and I've finally become the raving lunatic I was worried I'd become...

Then again, there just might be something special left up in my crazy, unbelievably scarred psyche... hmmm...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are special, and are at a point in your life that you can go down one path or another. It is your choice. I think you are very intelligent, and know which path to take. If you think your past has caught up with you, maybe it is time to let go of your past and start with a new future instead of fucking up your life, and college, with drugs and alcohol. Everyone has their problems, but they make you stronger if you don't try to mask them by partying. You have such a good head on your shoulders, please don't abouse it and end up homeless or in jail. Really. Think about it.

5:36 AM  

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